So I said I would write about the kind of relationship I had with matt and what happened with him during the 4 years we were together. So here it is....
It was the 14th September 2009, I went for a drink in my local with one of my best friends, there was 2 lads that worked there messing about being the bar making us laugh. My friend, Rachel, said that she knew them both. Around 10 one of the lads finished and came out onto the bar for a drink, he asked to join me and Rachel. He disappeared to catch his bus 15minutes later; I didn't really get to chat to him much, I didn't even know his name.
The following day I went to work at Sainsburys, when I came on my break Rachel had text me saying that matt had come into her work (at tesco express) asking for my number. I had no idea who matt was and being a typical 18 year old couldn't remember much from the night before. She explained who he was and I said I really can't remember but what the hell just give it to him. The next day he text me. We were texting everyday til the following weekend when I saw him in the pub again. I went back to his so we could chill and he treated us to a takeaway, he ended asking me out. So on the 22nd August 2009 we got together.
We became the typical boyfriend and girlfriend of the 20th century then in November 2009 he told me he was being transferred to a pub in Brighton. I was so shocked as nothing had changed between us and we were both happy. I told him to go for it if he wanted, even tho I really didn't want him to. Soon after the new year he packed up his flat and my parents and his mum and step dad helped him to make the big move up to Brighton. It seemed like a lovely pub. I said my goodbyes to him and went home with my parents. We had agreed that I would go up and see him every other weekend but that quickly changed to every weekend because we missed eachother too much. Then in March 2011 he got fired for gross misconduct from showing up to work drunk. He was given 48 hours to vacate his flat so Lucia, my best mate, and her boyfriend Ben helped us to move all his stuff back to southampton where he went to live in his mums annics.
We loved being closer to eachother again and because I basically stayed every night we decided to give it a go and get a flat together. We got a little one bed flat along Shirley high street in May 2011. In July 2011, on my 20th birthday, he got down on one knee and proposed to me, of course I said yes! Everything went downhill from there......
He had already lost his job 2 weeks before my birthday but started a new job 2 days after. He quit this in October without telling me. By this point we were in quite a bit of debt but we kept on paddling through life together. Then in November I went out for night with the girls but was called home around 10pm so I jumped in a taxi and scooted home. When I got there I was let into my own flat by a police officer.....I freaked and ran into the flat, matt was sat there being questioned for having indecent images on his computer. Needless to say I phoned my parents and was picked up shortly after. 2 days later I returned to the flat and we decided to put it all behind us and continue our lives together. Back then it seemed like a good idea but hey ho I was young and naive. Then in August 2012, almost a year after all that happened we got in so much debt we couldn't afford to live anymore so moved into his mums annics to clear some of our debts,
In October 2012 we fell in love with a flat in the Highfield area and put a deposit down on it and in November we moved in. By mid December matt had lost yet another job. I didn't know what to do, Christmas was approaching and we were broke but we paddled through again and in the new year matt got a new job as a door to door salesman. Much different to his usual chef job but it was a job. 1 month later he quit without telling me. It was another 2 months before he ended up getting himself a new job, this time as a line chef in a pub. Everything seemed fine but I couldn't take anymore and in May 2013 we ended up splitting up and moving out of the flat. This time was for good and I don't ever wish to get back with him or to even see him around southampton.
On the 18th July I got together with my current boyfriend, Martin. He knew matt from working together in a pub but I hadn't met him through that. 2 weeks after matt found out I had a new boyfriend, I'm unsure of how but that doesn't matter. He didn't know who I was with. He ended up texting me saying I thought we were getting back together. Ha day chance mate. 2 days later he thought it was funny to send my friends threatening messages, to put a fish head on my car ariel and then to top it off send me nasty texts. The police had to get involved and he was warned if he made contact with me again he would be arrested for harassment. I haven't heard from him since, thank goodness.
Sunday, 29 September 2013
I'm back..... Definitely needed and enjoyed that sleep last night! So I've wrote a little bit about me to introduce myself to the world now to write the real reason why I've started a blog....
Soo 4 months ago I split up with my then fiancé, matt, even tho it was my decision it was still a massive shock to the system and an even bigger shock to our friends and family! We were planning on setting the date 1 month after we split but he just tipped me over the edge and I really couldn't take it any longer. For 2 months prior and for 1 month after I was signed off work with stress and depression and was put on anti-depressants; back then I had no idea what was causing me to feel like I was, it all came out of nowhere and nobody really understood it! For those 2 months prior to the split I just tried to continue my life as normal, spending time with friends and family, visiting work as often as possible to update my boss on the situation but there was always one thing at the front of my mind and that was the question of "why am I feeling like this?!" I asked myself every day from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep, I had constant nightmares which would be on my mind throughout the following day becos I just couldn't decide what was real and what wasn't anymore. Then one day my best friend, Lucia, came to get me and take me out for the day, matt finished work early without telling me and a few hours later rang me shouting down the phone about me not being home, he sounded drunk, he was drunk, I knew him well enough after 4years to tell on the phone that he was, so I got Lu to take me home but he wasn't there. The flat was empty but there was a potent smell of stale beer. I text him to find out where he was to have a reply of "wherever the fuck I am has nothing to do with you, don't know of I'll be back tonight so maybe see you tomorrow". With that I made myself some dinner, snuggled up with the cat on the sofa and watched 27 dresses on DVD before going to bed a couple of hours later. I woke up to the cat jumping off the bed around 5am and could hear footsteps so I got up and found matt sat in the lounge, so drunk he was struggling to stay sat up. I couldn't believe how drunk somebody who apparently had no money could get within that amount of hours. He say there for an hour screaming at me about my laziness and me going out with my friends etc. I couldn't believe some of the hurtful things he was saying. I ended the argument saying we will talk when you sobar up and I went to bed. I was woken up again a couple of hours later by him stumbling into the bedroom and passing out on the bed! I only managed to sleep for another hour if that then got myself out of bed and started cleaning the flat up. Once I finished I sat down and noticed MY joint account card on the table. I always kept that in my purse so I knew where it was, I had paid all the bills the week before. And knew I hadn't taken it back out my purse so I looked at the online banking to see if the remaining money for the direct debit to tv licensing was still there....it wasn't! £50 had been withdrawn from a cash point in portswood the day before! I couldn't believe what I was reading on the screen in front of me. I text Lucia and said about it, she was shocked. When matt finally got his ass out of bed I confronted him about it. He tried turning it all against me saying it was my fault for not being home etc etc. I felt like my blood was boiling and like steam was gonna come out my ears and then BOOM those 2 words came out of my mouth, "ITS OVER" I repeated it 4 times, I couldn't believe what I was saying but the relievement I felt was unreal, I felt like a massive weight had lifted off my shoulders! I rang lu and she came and picked me up straight away, she didn't want me driving in the state I was in! We went out to mcdonalds to grab something to eat and discuss what had happened. As I explained it all to her I felt even more weight drop off my shoulders, I felt amazing! At this point the only question in my head was "was it really him that was causing all this, making me feel like I did". For the next few nights I stayed at lus, I didn't hear from matt at all, it just proved to me that he really didn't care about me like he said he did, it proved to me that what I done was the right thing to do and I knew that from now on I would be able to smile! For days I blamed it on everything that was mentioned on the argument but not many people know the full reason behind it all, so I'm going to write another post on this blog to explain mine and his relationship from when it first started and hopefully you will understand why!!
Soo 4 months ago I split up with my then fiancé, matt, even tho it was my decision it was still a massive shock to the system and an even bigger shock to our friends and family! We were planning on setting the date 1 month after we split but he just tipped me over the edge and I really couldn't take it any longer. For 2 months prior and for 1 month after I was signed off work with stress and depression and was put on anti-depressants; back then I had no idea what was causing me to feel like I was, it all came out of nowhere and nobody really understood it! For those 2 months prior to the split I just tried to continue my life as normal, spending time with friends and family, visiting work as often as possible to update my boss on the situation but there was always one thing at the front of my mind and that was the question of "why am I feeling like this?!" I asked myself every day from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep, I had constant nightmares which would be on my mind throughout the following day becos I just couldn't decide what was real and what wasn't anymore. Then one day my best friend, Lucia, came to get me and take me out for the day, matt finished work early without telling me and a few hours later rang me shouting down the phone about me not being home, he sounded drunk, he was drunk, I knew him well enough after 4years to tell on the phone that he was, so I got Lu to take me home but he wasn't there. The flat was empty but there was a potent smell of stale beer. I text him to find out where he was to have a reply of "wherever the fuck I am has nothing to do with you, don't know of I'll be back tonight so maybe see you tomorrow". With that I made myself some dinner, snuggled up with the cat on the sofa and watched 27 dresses on DVD before going to bed a couple of hours later. I woke up to the cat jumping off the bed around 5am and could hear footsteps so I got up and found matt sat in the lounge, so drunk he was struggling to stay sat up. I couldn't believe how drunk somebody who apparently had no money could get within that amount of hours. He say there for an hour screaming at me about my laziness and me going out with my friends etc. I couldn't believe some of the hurtful things he was saying. I ended the argument saying we will talk when you sobar up and I went to bed. I was woken up again a couple of hours later by him stumbling into the bedroom and passing out on the bed! I only managed to sleep for another hour if that then got myself out of bed and started cleaning the flat up. Once I finished I sat down and noticed MY joint account card on the table. I always kept that in my purse so I knew where it was, I had paid all the bills the week before. And knew I hadn't taken it back out my purse so I looked at the online banking to see if the remaining money for the direct debit to tv licensing was still there....it wasn't! £50 had been withdrawn from a cash point in portswood the day before! I couldn't believe what I was reading on the screen in front of me. I text Lucia and said about it, she was shocked. When matt finally got his ass out of bed I confronted him about it. He tried turning it all against me saying it was my fault for not being home etc etc. I felt like my blood was boiling and like steam was gonna come out my ears and then BOOM those 2 words came out of my mouth, "ITS OVER" I repeated it 4 times, I couldn't believe what I was saying but the relievement I felt was unreal, I felt like a massive weight had lifted off my shoulders! I rang lu and she came and picked me up straight away, she didn't want me driving in the state I was in! We went out to mcdonalds to grab something to eat and discuss what had happened. As I explained it all to her I felt even more weight drop off my shoulders, I felt amazing! At this point the only question in my head was "was it really him that was causing all this, making me feel like I did". For the next few nights I stayed at lus, I didn't hear from matt at all, it just proved to me that he really didn't care about me like he said he did, it proved to me that what I done was the right thing to do and I knew that from now on I would be able to smile! For days I blamed it on everything that was mentioned on the argument but not many people know the full reason behind it all, so I'm going to write another post on this blog to explain mine and his relationship from when it first started and hopefully you will understand why!!
Saturday, 28 September 2013
Well this is my first post in my first ever blog so I'm gonna introduce myself before anything else.....
I'm Emma Charliie, I'm 22 years old and work full time as a nursery assistant. I've only just started my current job but was working at my previous job as an early years practitioner for just over 4 years but I'll say more about that later on in my blog. How would my friends describe me? Hmm one word comes to mind and that's "cuckoo" haha! I'm happy around 90% of the time, stressed or grumpy the other 10% which is normally caused by some absolute dinlow but anywho that doesn't really matter! I can be quite lazy and LOVE my superking (6ft) bed, could stay in here all day. As well as being happy I can also be hyperactive, hense the cuckoo! I LOVE making others smile and hate seeing them sad so I always make sure I put my friends and family first!
The reason I am starting a blog is because it's what my friend suggested I did to help clear my mind of what I'm thinking rather then bottling it all up and allowing it to stress me out. I was a bit unsure of it at first but tbh I wouldn't be here if I didn't feel it would help me, even if just a little bit.....
Well it's 4:30am and I'm struggling to keep my eyes open now so I'm gonna go and will continue to write this in the morning!
I'm Emma Charliie, I'm 22 years old and work full time as a nursery assistant. I've only just started my current job but was working at my previous job as an early years practitioner for just over 4 years but I'll say more about that later on in my blog. How would my friends describe me? Hmm one word comes to mind and that's "cuckoo" haha! I'm happy around 90% of the time, stressed or grumpy the other 10% which is normally caused by some absolute dinlow but anywho that doesn't really matter! I can be quite lazy and LOVE my superking (6ft) bed, could stay in here all day. As well as being happy I can also be hyperactive, hense the cuckoo! I LOVE making others smile and hate seeing them sad so I always make sure I put my friends and family first!
The reason I am starting a blog is because it's what my friend suggested I did to help clear my mind of what I'm thinking rather then bottling it all up and allowing it to stress me out. I was a bit unsure of it at first but tbh I wouldn't be here if I didn't feel it would help me, even if just a little bit.....
Well it's 4:30am and I'm struggling to keep my eyes open now so I'm gonna go and will continue to write this in the morning!
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